Sunday, July 6, 2014

Prison Life

Hi My Sweet Family & Friends,
      So, Sandie sent me a copy of my blog last week, which was nice because I've totally forgotten everything I've written you.  I was surprised at how much I've neglected to tell you- probably because I write you mental letters all the time, but ummm... you can't mail those!  Wow, I fail.  I think it's because to paint you an accurate picture of this place seems like an outrageously huge task, so I just write about the other stuff, and leave all the prison stuff out.  (I mean, the God stuff is just the way more happy & exciting!)  But I've had a lot of people ask, and I've come to realize that giving an accurate picture of the only Women's Prison in Arizona is important, too.  After all, orange is not the new black, and this is no Federal Prison.  
     My friend, April is taking English 101 right now and is currently working on an evaluation essay. Her evaluation:  Perryville.  So, I've decided, in order to make this more manageable for me, keep me focused and on track (thus making it easier to read for you), I will write this in installments based on her outline.  :) Today's topic:  Housing.  Here goes.
      When you arrive at Perryville, you are taken to R&A (can't remember what it stands for). Depending on how crowded it is, there are 2-3 women per 8'x 12' cell.  Your custody level is determined at that point and you are assigned to either a minimum, medium, or maximum custody unit. Currently at Perryville, there is one max unit (Lumley) which houses the max custody inmates, death row, suicide watch, and the central detention unit.  This is also where R&A is.  There are two medium custody units- Santa Maria and Santa Cruz (I am currently on Cruz).  The other four units are minimum custody- San Pedro (the medical unit), Santa Rosa, Piestiwa, and San Carlos.  Aside from my time on Lumley in R&A, I have only been on Cruz.  I cannot speak about what it is like on the minimum units because I've never been there, but our housing is the same on Cruz as it is on Lumley and Maria, but Maria is smaller, having only 2 yards instead of 4.  When entering the V-gate (vehicle gate) on Cruz, you are greeted by a giant dirt field (about 2 football fields in length) with a dirt track surrounding it. Across the field you will see four yards, each fenced in: 14 yard, 16 yard, 18 yard, and 20 yard.  I live on 20 yard.  Each yard has four two-story pods.  Each pod can house 48 girls, so when a yard is at capacity it can house 192 girls.  There have been times when the prison was so overcrowded that they were housing girls in 10 packs in side rooms and they also housed girls in 20 &14 kitchens. Thankfully, it hasn't been like that since I've been here.  The pods are L-shaped with showers at either end, 6 showers per pod.  They are all nasty and moldy.  I thought shower shoes were a must in college; I had NO idea how gross a shower could be!  Twice now, somebody pooped in there!!  Who does that?!? I said, "Well, they have our DNA on file- I can't think of a better time to use it!"  Anyway, back to our rooms- They are 8'x12' cells (I just measured my room with my 9' comb :)).  Everything is metal or concrete- very industrial chic.  I have the upper bunk that stretches the width of the room, with a little metal desk/cubby at the end.  It is where I am writing this right now!  If is sit up straight, I hit my head on the ceiling.  (But I am a bit taller than your average bear.)  Below my bunk is a built in desk and plastic chair.  The bottom bunk is perpendicular to the top bunk, tucked slightly (they make an L).  At the head of the bottom bunk is a metal half wall with a little shelf big enough to set a soap dish.  It separates our "room" from our "bathroom."  Well, kinda.  The sink is on the other side of the "wall", and a toilet is right next to it.  The large metal door is opposite the top bunk and the wall opposite the bottom bunk houses two metal shelves and small "wardrobe."  This so called wardrobe is really just an 18"x 2.5'x 4' box with no front, bolted to the wall.  It has a bar inside where you could hang things if we were allowed to have hangers.  We use it a counter to cook on, and my shoes live underneath it.  There are two bulletin boards (industrial ceiling tiles painted white) on each side of the room where we can hang up pictures, cards and post cards.  There are two large metal drawers that slide under the bottom bunk, and we are allowed up to four cardboard file boxes to store our things (I have two).  Our floor is concrete and has been painted about 5 different colors, but is currently mostly gray.  Oh, and we each have four wooden peg hooks by the door where we can hang our towel.  There are two windows on each side of the top bunk.  They stretch from the ceiling to the top of the desk- (4 ft maybe?) and there are 4-5" wide.  One of them is supposed to open about an inch or so. We have one window that won't close all the way- so we stuffed it with newspaper and both of our windows have clear trash bags taped over them.  It helps keep the bugs and dust out.  That's it!  I'm super thankful that our room is in pretty good shape.  I am also really thankful that our ceiling doesn't leak, 'cause that happens a lot.  Sometimes our toilet flushes and flushes and won't stop for like 40 minutes or until the neighbor flushes theirs, but it hasn't done that in a couple of months. Yay!  We have a swamp cooler, but no AC.  It works pretty good most months, but doesn't help much from July to the end of September/middle of October.  During those months our rooms stay between 90-95 degrees.  I call it our hot yoga studio :)
     That's pretty much it about housing, and I don't know how long this will be typed up, but I'm already at the end of page 5.  I'll wrap up this installment with what I was reminded of this week:  Deuteronomy 8:2- "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that He might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart..."  I will be forever thankful that my time spent in the wilderness is a mere 28 months and not 40 years.  If there is one thing prison is good at, it's humbling a person.  I needed the humbling.  And perhaps God needed to know what was in my heart, but what I've come to know for sure, is that I needed to know what was in my heart.  And I shall remember the whole way that the Lord my God has led me, and continues to lead me.  13.5 months left.
                                                             Love from Fat Camp,
                                                                     Missy

P.S.  
Jenn & Jacqueline, my faithful writers- thank you.  You have no idea how much you encourage me.  
Cherlyn & Paul- Thank you for my new music! It's wonderful. :) 
Tammy & Megan & my sweet Trudy- I know you are walking through your own wilderness. I love you, you are constantly on my heart and I’m praying for you.  Don't grow weary, dear friends. 
Beth, your painting are beautiful!  
Mary Beth- Hi & congratulations! 
Kaci- We're never gonna cry over spilled milk! :) 

     It's so good to hear from all of you!  With every letter, I am reminded of how good God has been to me throughout the years.  I have been and continue to be surrounded by the greatest cloud of witnesses to have ever walked the earth.  


Davey, Grandma & Grandpa Dalton- You are molding my boys, our boys, in to the greatest of men.  I know I don't tell you enough, but I think it all the time; Thank you - for picking up the pieces and keeping their hearts from being broken, for the sacrifices you make for them on a daily basis, for leading and guiding them in Truth.  I am eternally grateful.  I love you, more than words can say.  K- bye for real. I'll write again soon. XOXOXO

Monday, June 23, 2014

Prison Fundraiser

Hello Friends,
 This is Sandie... Missy and I have been friends since we were 16, so most of you probably know me.  If not- nice to meet you!  I lived in Colorado for a few years and moved back into my old house this year which is coincidentally 5 minutes away from the Perryville Prison! Under any other circumstances, this fact may be disconcerting, but it is quite wonderful for me!  I have had the opportunity to visit Missy just about every Saturday for the last few months- and it has been so encouraging- so uplifting.  God is at work in Perryville Prison!  He is using Missy to share the gospel, encourage inmates, and I have seen that this "tearing down" of my sweet friend, has set the stage for God to build her up again.  In Missy's first blog post, entitled Eleven More Hours, she wrote:
"It hurts... a lot, but I am thankful that I have a God that loves me enough to pull me out of darkness, no matter what it takes.  I will consider the next (hopefully) couple of years not simply a punishment, but as discipline.  For punishment can bring about bitterness but discipline brings wisdom, strength, and restoration.  Thank you so much for being there.  For loving me through this.  1 John 4:12 says, 'No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.'  I never understood how God's love could be made more complete through people - until now.  The forgiveness and mercy you have shown me, the love I have felt from you in the past year has been life-changing.  Truly God's love has been made complete in you.... I hope you will stay on this journey with me - I want you to be able to see God turn our mourning into joy." 
She wrote this post 14 months ago, and although there have been a few bumps along the road, this is even more true today than the day she wrote it.  God is turning our mourning into joy in a real way.  She is growing, maturing, and being Missy.  She had been in a funk with the writing and she asked me to apologize for her if she hasn't responded to all of the letters she has received.  But know that the letters you all have sent (and will hopefully continue to send) really help her.  It is necessary to continually renew her mind in there, and with little teaching/resources and a lot of prison drama- "normal" interactions with people via letters and visits are so beneficial.  Writing the blog has also been a really healthy outlet for her as well.  I have been nagging encouraging her to start writing regularly.  She doesn't believe me that it is encouraging other believers on the "outs" (that's prison lingo for the outside world- Oh yeah, I'm pretty street now!)  But the blog is making a difference to people- it just is- so if you write to her, make sure to nag encourage her to blog!

One last thing!  Many of you have asked me, and asked Missy, if she needs anything.  She felt weird about saying anything- but there is a prison fundraiser going on this week- so I told her that I would put it out there on the blog so that if anyone wanted to contribute financially, they could, but that there would be absolutely NO PRESSURE on anyone.  So here are the details:
Well, first, here is a little information about prison life, then I'll give the fundraiser details!  Missy has to buy just about everything from a prison store- soap, razors, shoes, sunscreen, any extra food, etc.  She has a decently paying job in there (she makes 40 cents/hour teaching other inmates so that they can pass their mandatories -8th grade equivalency tests)- but after paying rent, taxes and fees, she only takes "home" about $9/week (I asked how much it would take to live comfortably- relative to the fact that you are still in prison- and she said that she would be in the lap of luxury on $80/month. Crazy!)  Anyways, she if fine.  She wanted me to say, she is totally and completely fine!  But, as her friend, I just wanted to let you know that anyone can put money in her account, anytime. Just saying!    I go through www.jpay.com.  You just enter her inmate # and Wallah- she gets the money deposited into her account within a few days.  Her inmate # is 280198.
Ok- for the fundraiser.  A few times a year, certain stores/restaurants come into the prison and do fundraising for victims groups.  The idea is that the inmates have access to buy items that they usually cannot purchase (like lipgloss or a cheeseburger), and the merchant charges a high price for the item.  So, if Wendy's did a prison fundraiser, they would charge the inmate $2 for something off their dollar menu.  $1 would go to Wendy's , $1 would go to the Victim's rights Non-Profit, and Missy would get to eat a frosty!  One of these fundraisers is going on this week.  So... in the most non-pressurey way that I can put it, if you want to- just go to www.jpay.com and you put money into Missy's account and she can participate. There ya go!  Every little bit counts so please do NOT feel any pressure to put a ton of money in there.  Thanks guys!

Anyhow, I am hoping to get a letter from Missy any day now to update the blog. She told me last weekend that she was just finishing a blog post.  Who knows, maybe it's in my mailbox right now! To make it less confusing, when a blog post is informational, I will post it through my own personal gmail account, but when I am transcribing a blog post from Missy, I will go through her account, so that those entries will say "Posted by Melissa Dalton."

Well, I'm not sure how to end this- and "All My Love From Fat Camp" is already taken, so- Over and out!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Written April 17, 2014

My sweet Family and Friends,
     I have written you this letter like 5 times (even more in my head), got about half-way through, realized that it was not at all what I wanted to say and chucked it in the trash. Then last night I went to church and God thunked me in the head. I was reminded of two things:
     #1 - Sometimes God allows us to be shaken so hard that ll that's left is the eternal.
     #2 - Often it takes being emptied of EVERYTHING else to realize that God is the only thing that makes us feel truly satisfied.
So, yeah, I've been told this before - many times in many different ways, but I tell ya, there's nothing quite like learning from experience. I know God has taught me like a million things this year, but those two things from last night kinda sum them all up. Through the consequences of my actions I was shaken to my core and pretty much emptied out. I feel a little bit like a tree that's been through a big storm. It reminds me of that song by John Mark McMillan - "He is jealous for me - Loves like a hurricane, I am the tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy." So here I am - bent but not broken, stripped bare of all my pretty leaves and missing a few limbs, but still firmly rooted in the only thing that really matters. At this point I find myself strangely thankful for the storm, 'cause can I tell you something that really irritates me about myself? I seem to need a good shaking! I'm pretty sure God would have done a nice pruning job had I allowed Him to, but nooooooooo. I totally needed those branches! (Nevermind that they were growing all willy-nilly in the wrong direction or just all together rotten...) Ugh. I disgust myself. So really, how merciful for Him to hold me firmly by my roots and allow the storm to rip off my temporal branches. But next time, I'm totally opting for the pruning shears.
     As far as my day to day goes, things are going alright. I stay very busy and time is going by fast. I got a job teaching G.E.D. and mandatory (8th grade education class). I spend a lot of time teaching math - everything from fractions to algebra to geometry. I forgot that I knew all of this stuff :) Maybe by the time I get outta here (15 1/2 months, but who's counting?) I'll actually be able to help my boys with their math homework!
     I remember a year ago I got here, looked around and thought to myself, " I will NEVER be friends with these people." Everyone seemed so...different? strange? scary? I mean, I'd never seen so many women with tattoo's on their neck. or face. Lord, forgive me for being so judgmental. One of the kindest people I have ever met has a tattoo that crawls up the side of her neck and around her face. Anyway, I have been blessed with a group of friends that I truly like being with. They are kind and caring and encouraging. I'm so thankful to have them. Although none of them have tattoo's on their neck - hmmm... what are the odds? I should really figure out the ratio on that. I should also stop turning everything into a math problem and stop writing down everything that pops into my head. Sorry about that! O.K., back to what I was saying - I am so thankful for the friends I have. If you don;t mind praying for them by name, they are April, Staci, Becky, Cheryl, Michaele, and Margaret. They are great and I know they'd appreciate your prayers.
     O.K., this letter is getting long and my best friend since I was 16, Sandie, should be here to visit any minute (Thanks Sandie!), so I'm going to wrap this up, I'll write again (sooner than six months, was it?) Sheesh, I fail. But Sandie's been on me about it, so I'll write and mail it! Know that I think of you all daily, I pray for you without ceasing and I love you endlessly. Thank you so much for the letters you've sent (for the books and C.D.'s too!) You've helped keep me sane. I appreciate your Love and encouragement more than I will ever be able to say. I really will try and do a better job writing - both to the blog and to you individually. Know that I get your letters and they are my greatest treasures. I would love if you'd send pictures! They don't limit me on how many I have, just as long as I don't get more than 30 at a time. I like to see your faces :) I miss your face... <3
                                                      With all my love from Fat Camp,
                                                                                              Missy