Love in the Mail - April 23, 2013

I got a fistful of letters today :) and one from myself , it was the very first one I wrote to you on the nineteenth. I was so worried about getting the return address correct, that I forgot to write an address on it to send it, so it was returned to me!. So this is an update (five days later, now we know how long the mail takes from Perryville  to Tucson).

First of  ALL, thank you for letters and pictures, they make me miss you even more, but I am really glad to have them. It makes me feel not forgotten and alone. I've had to fight that feeling a few times this week. I got a bunkie Friday after dinner. She's nice, 23, and she sleeps alot. Saturday I talked one of the Officers into giving me a Bible. It is one of those tiny Gideon Psalms-Proverbs, New Testment Ones. It took a little convincing , but he relented after I promised not to rip out the pages and use them for rolling papers.

The girls and I have figured out that we can hear each other through the vents, and have spent the last three nights singing every song we can think of. For them its a lot of ninetys rap, Selena, and Mariachi music. I told them I only know all the words to "I Love Jesus" music. They said "OK"', let's hear it! So I sang everything I could remember the words to, and they asked me to sing it again. So the nights usually start out kind of silly, with us trying to remember all the words to a Sir -Mix-A-Lot song, and end with Amazing Grace and Psalm 40. The girl next door was raised Catholic and she asks me if I will say the Lords prayer with her every night before we go to sleep. All the girls love "As the Deer Panteth For The Water", they ask for it every night, which is good because I told Seth and Ev that I'd sing it to them every night at eight. Thankfully I havent had a bunkie that minds :).

They did our interviews today and told me I will be going to Santa Cruz yard. Hopefully that will be in the next couple of days. I am thankful that they are moving as fast as they are.  Some girls that are back here again said that their first time here they were in R& A for eleven weeks! So I guess I can not complain. I wish I had more paper and envelopes and something other than this golf pencil that I have to creatively sharpen in order to write you individually. Its the first thing I'm going to buy when I get out of here. In the meantime please tell the boys thanks for their drawings and notes, I love them. Give them BIG HUGS and smooches and snuggles. Please let Jenn and Tammy know I got their letters, they were such an encouragement to me. Mom thanks for sending letters and scriptures and pictures and for keeping everyone in the loop for me.

At night when we are singing through the vents, it begins to feel less like prison, and more like church camp, even though it's just for a couple of hours. I was just telling a couple of the girls, sometimes God changes my circumstances, but most of the time in my life he chooses to change me, despite them. I can feel him doing that still now, and I am thankful for it.

I Love You and Miss You  more than I can say. Thank You for sending Love In The Mail.
They are my Treasures. I will mail this in the morning, this time with an address :).
Big Hugs and Love, Missy

I'm Here April 19, 2013 from Perryvile R & A

(This letter was lost in the mail and just received April 29)
Sorry to only write one letter, but I only get five stamped envelopes and five pieces of  paper per month in receiving. Since I have no idea how long I will be here I am trying to conserve. Intake says they are moving pretty quick, but some of these girls have been here three weeks already, so we will see. Pray it goes fast. When I got here my roommate, my "bunkie" gave me advice, all the "street smarts" I would need here, that I could fit in my brain, before she rolled out ( assigned to a yard) in the morning. She left after breakfast, now I am alone, I like it that way. My room is right next to the showers, there are 2 showers for 96 girls in our Pod, so at recreation time I am pretty much assured a a shower-Yay!

I hope I never get used to prison smells. Nothing smells good or clean, everything smells like a public restroom, not a fancy one but like a JCPenny restroom . Yuck!

I am SHOCKED by the number of people that are in here AGAIN! it's crazy! We took tests today. In
ability in English, Language and Math. They just want you to get an eighth grade equivalency. I was the only one in my group who passed all three. I got a 12.9 in all of them. The tester said I should be a tutor, not shocking, but good. I guess it is a job that is alot of hours and pays better than most. There is a girl in intake with me she is thirty years old, six months pregnant with her eighth child and can't read. I had to fill out her paperwork for her. it's crazy, I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone. I didn't know people like this existed outside tv and movies.

I am anxious to get out of here and into a yard. I am in lockdown twenty three hours a day in a room that is freezing. Thankfully they gave us our State Issued clothing today. Two each: jumpsuits, shirts, socks, undies, shorts and thankfully a jacket. The undies are the biggest things I've ever seen, I could parachute with them! it's funny. They gave us a pillowcase, but no pillow, ha!

I'm hoping I can get ahold of a Bible soon. Right now I have a crime novel and a Jason Bourne book. I still think it is funny that prison is full of crime and murder mysteries.

I'm really thankful that God has allowed some girls to be in here who have been in here before to give advice, but he has not allowed anyone to stay long, except those who Love Jesus! Everyone else has floated in and out quickly. This means sometimes I'm alone, but I think that is his protection over me. 
Don't worry, I'm doing OK, this place is like boot camp with a bunch of crazies, but it is nothing I can't handle. Well, if I can handle all these pigeons that hang out here, I hate birds!  I will write again within the week. I Love You Xoxoxo  Mom please share this.

ADOC Number 280198 Letters from Home

Now that Missy has arrived at Perryville, it is time to start writing those letters and cards from home, check the guidelines in FAQ's. Also many have asked about sending books, magazines, etc, also in FAQ, short answer, they have to be sent through Amazon, or Target.

Money Orders: If you wish to send Missy a money order you will need to send it in a letter to the prison address below.  Always tell her in separate letter or card that you are sending a MO and the amount. It should be made payable like this:

Arizona Department of Corrections for Melissa A. Dalton ADC #280198

And Mail to:
ASPC Perryville Inmate Accounts
P.O. Box 3300
Goodyear, AZ 85395

Always use a MO from a bank, Post office or Walmart. Do Not use Circle K, they will not accept.
Never send more than $99 at a time.
Items she will be purchasing: shoes, underwear, linens, fan, ice chest, CD player, sundries such as soap and personal care items, stationary, snacks and much more on an ongoing basis. You would be amazed at what the system does not provide and her wages will be .20/hr if/when she is assigned a job.

Missy's a generous soul and any overages will be shared with others.

Finally!

Dear Mom, family and friends,

Finally! have wanted to write for a week! You can only order from commissary once a week and I missed it but my new roommate gave me some paper and pencil and a stamp.

I was in Isolation from Monday to Wednesday with no interaction with anyone. Then they made me a AS1 which are all in a wing with other girls in Protective Custody. I just got a new roommate today, she is really nice. Please pray for F. She is trying to learn about Jesus since she got in here and she is wanting to understand. She wants to get clean and get her kids back. I am praying that God will take hold of her and protect her.

I can't believe it has already been a week. I have more to tell you than I'll have room to write. The "train" that takes me to Perryville usually comes at 2am on Tues and Thurs and since it didn't come this week, I hope it comes by at least Thurs. Maybe I'll be there by the time you get this. The jail doesn't have anywhere to put those of us who are AS1's, they won't put us in the general population, so we are in the disciplinary detention wing. We are locked in our room 23 1/2 hrs. a day and get out to the day room for 30 minutes to take a shower, use the phone, get a book.

I have been reading a lot, I found a copy of Emma and a Spanish Bible. By Wednesday, I found an English Gideon's Bible, Yay! tell Ginger, Yes they do put them in jails. She thought right. I finished the New Testament last night (Sat). I read an interesting book on Pre-Trib from the Chaplains library called "No Fear of the Storm" by Tim LaHaye,I liked it. I traded out my Gideon Bible for an NIV study Bible that appeared out of "nowhere", into our book tub today:). I was just saying to God last night "I wish I had an easier translation to read" Thanks Jesus!

The food is definitely yucky, but I make myself eat 200-300 calories each meal. Hey-this is Fat Camp!
If you are good all week you get a bottle of RC and a package of Grandmas Peanut butter cookies!

The first two days were hard. Time passed very slowly. That is one thing about jail, everything takes time. When they wake you up for breakfast at 4am, the days seem very long. But God has been so Good. Even when I was alone, I didn't feel lonely. He is teaching me how to be still in him. For those of you who know me well, you know how miraculous that is because I hate to be alone. It took me a couple of days of being still in him to remind me of who I am. One of the hardest things about jail is not the food, the lack of comfort, or the boredom. It is that in here you ARE your charges. You are defined by your crime. The officers do not like you, no matter how respectful or kind you are, and the inmates all want to know what you did. I was reminded on Wednesday that my righteousness comes not from what I do, therefore it cannot be taken away because of what I have done. My value and my worth comes from Christ alone. my righteousness is a gift freely given by his grace and received by faith. My God looks on me with love and says I am His. And that is truth.

Today I sat across from a another girl facing serious life altering charges who is harassed and threatened because of her charges. As she shared with me, she said " There is something different about you, You are all joyful." I said oh well, that is Jesus."! I was so excited she could see him in me, I almost fell over. She said, "That's crazy, that's what my roommate says too. You are the only two in here who don't look at me with hate in your eyes." "I said, that's my Jesus too." We were able to have a conversation that his sacrifice is great enough to cover all our sin. Before we went back to our cells, she said "I want what you have, I want that peace." I have been praying for her all day, and I can't wait for day room tomorrow. The transforming power of Gods love, it never ceases to amaze me. Please pray for her, that she will find peace and new life in him.

One week down, 129 or so to go. It is going to be an amazing journey. One of restoration, peace, and even joy. I miss you all fiercely. Thank you for being there, for loving with an unconditional love. It is life changing, because of it I will never be the same. Eat something yummy for me. Hug my boys tight. I will write you again as soon as I can.

Love from Fat Camp, Missy

Transcribed by Donna recd 4/17/13
Note: Missy was transferred to Perryville Thurs 4/18
See FAQ section for instructions on sending letters, cards and donations.
She will need to purchase MOST of her own items when she gets there, so we are relying on donations. If you are on her visitors and phone list you can print up your visitors forms off the Link to Perryville Prison site and start filling them out.

Silver Lake Sentinnel - Reporter Donna

We got to make an unexpected visit to the Pima County Jail here in Tucson down on Silverlake today. Missy is still in custody here and will be untill next week. It is a good news-bad news kind of thing. She is in isolation here and very lonely, and conditions aren't great. She can have one thirty minute video visit a week and one fifteen minute phone call a day. It took me all week to figure the dynamics of this out,and to get the news to her but we got it figured out. Davey and I surprised the boys and picked them up from a half day at school and told them we were going to see their mom. We told them to think of some interesting things to tell her about their week and some questions they wanted answered. We checked in and waited our turn then crowded around a twenty inch video screen and waited for her face to pop up. When it did, she was grinning ear to ear and she said she was so happy to see her "boys". She looks great and well rested said she in a cell by herself had gotten a bible and book to read. She is allowed out one hour per day and wants every one to know the first day was hard but now she is doing fine. The food is mostly unrecognizable but she is trying to eat or drink the best quality calories she can. The visit was very happy as we were really not expecting to be able to see her at all until after she went through intake in Phoenix, weeks from now. The boys were fascinated by her new environment and were not intimidated at all. Missy has purchased pencil and paper and stamps, if it arrives before she is transferred she will post a letter. Keep the faith, it can move mountains!

Yesterday: from Donna

Yesterday was a day we dreaded for a long time. It turned out to be so painful and awesome at the same time and God met us there, as he always does, just in time. So many supportive friends and family, so much love that even the Judge had to remark that he has never seen a defendant with so much support. I would love to share some of those God moments with you as I know Missy would want me to. The last thing she mouthed to me as I was the last one to leave the court was I'm OK, and i know she is.

The day started like any normal day. Seth had requested Mommys special chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. This had been a week of "lasts" and today was no different. As Grandpa and I arrived, Missy was fixing her face, the boys were playing a board game and Davey was drinking coffee watching TV news. As it was time to go, we had a time of family prayer , some hugs and kisses and a lot of reassurances. The boys were very brave and there were very few tears, they have been very well prepared for this. Our resolve weakened a bit as we pulled away and their faces were pressed up against the front window. Grandpa was left to hold down the fort and cater to their every whim.

It was so windy we felt like we were blown downtown. Missy drove and as we were waiting at a stoplight she looked over and there was a bright yellow Beetle Bug stuffed with her best buds. They whooped and hollered and yelled " we were just praying for you". That put a big smile on Missys's face. As we rushed to the courthouse we ducked into the bathroom and I hugged her one last time. We kept saying over and over Joshua 1:9. Be strong and courageous, the Lord God is with You. Do not fear. She has this written on her her wrist , if you think of her please pray it with her.

In Gods great mercy her sentence was close to the minimum and we all stood proudly by her as she made her statement to the court. Now we all can move ahead with Hope and Healing.

The boys are doing well, they are so resilient and are looking forward to man camp with dad. Missy will be so proud and they are back in school today. They are already figuring out all the angles. Seth said yesterday, "hey gramma, you wanna come over for dinner?" hint, hint, I think they had corn dogs. They went grocery shoppng and sat down and packed their lunches for a week, I think they will be fine. Although Evan did wake up and slip into bed with Daddy last night, thats ok too.

We will post from Missy as soon as we hear anything, Thanks for being there for her.

Eleven more hours

It is 12:30am, and in about eleven hours this past year's journey will come to an end and an entirely new journey will begin. All my boys are sleeping soundly - I have checked on them all about ten times in the past hour trying to memorize every inch of their faces. I painted my toes pink and put on a million layers of topcoat because although it seems silly, I know the next two weeks are going to be hard, and somehow knowing that my toes are pretty and pink makes me feel better. I talked with Jessica's mom tonight and she gave me answers to questions I didn't even know I had. What an incredible woman. She's pretty sure I'll be in a medium security yard, and said that the women in there are actually the kindest. That I'll most likely be without air conditioning but with a swamp cooler, and that I should buy a fan and an ice chest because they will get me through the summer. Oh, and my laundry will need to be washed in the sink with a bar of soap - makes me think of Shawshank Redemption. Ha. It is definitely going to be an experience. I'm calling it fat camp, by the way.
I've been able to see many of you, had the opportunity to tell you I'm sorry, that I love you, to hug you and say goodbye. But just in case I haven't...
I want to say how sorry I am. I have failed you all so greatly. There isn't a person in my life to whom I don't owe an apology. The depth and breadth of hurt I have caused everyone crushes my heart. I wish I could go back and change things - I wish I could do something to repair things now. But my words are insufficient. So I do the only thing I know to do; I pray every day that God would heal what I have broken. I am thankful that I am being held accountable. It hurts...a lot, but I am thankful that I have a God that loves me enough to pull me out of darkness, no matter what it takes. I will consider the next (hopefully) couple of years not simply as punishment, but as discipline. For punishment can bring about bitterness but discipline brings wisdom, strength, and restoration.
Thank you so much for still being there. For loving me through this. 1 John 4:12 says "No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." I never understood how God's love could be made more complete through people - until now. The forgiveness and mercy you have shown me, the love I have felt from you in the past year has been life-changing. Truly God's love has been made complete through you. I will be forever grateful.
Please know that I will be thinking of you all, and I will write you personally as soon as I can, but for quite a few weeks, months even, I will have very few resources to do so. This will be my lifeline with you. I am from this point on entrusting this blog to my mother-in-law, sister, niece and Carlina. They will post letters from me and will keep you updated on everything they know, or learn or just find interesting :) I hope you will stay on this journey with me - I want you to be able to see God turn our mourning into joy.

As We Wait

Tommorow is the big day and we appreciate all who are coming to support Missy. When she gets through the county intake system and up to Perryville she will be assigned a ADC Number then you will be able to write to her and send donations for her inmate account. We are expecting this to take two or three days but will update you as soon as we know more. Thank You for all the support and for all who turned out on Friday for the good bye party. Donna